Emotional need of a man
You may feel that your spouse is not meeting your emotional needs. But, marriage counselors and psychology experts generally agree that only you can satisfy those needs. You should not consider yourself an empty emotional vessel to be filled by your spouse. You need to take responsibility for your own fulfillment, and the best way to do that is to consider and satisfy your spouse's needs first. Willard F. Harley, Jr.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Your Emotional Needs Not Being Met in Relationships
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: This is How WEAK Men Deal With Emotions (Animated Story)Content:
Understanding Men Emotionally
Studies consistently show that men and women are not very different in their wants and needs. Perhaps there are differences, but science has not found a way to measure them. Experts who speak on the subject acknowledge that differences do persist and work to bridge the gap between men and women, helping women understand what men want and need in relationships.
While a man's needs are highly individual, there are some general guidelines to knowing what a man needs in a relationship. Men's needs in relationships with women differ depending on the relationship status.
There are some general guidelines that could apply to any relationship status, from dating to marriage. According to Dr. Juli Slattery , sex is on the top of the list when considering what men need in a relationship. Not only do men need sex, but they need good sex, not sex that is done out of obligation or guilt. Slattery explains that sex is an inextricable part of a man in terms of his physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness:.
Many times, women and men differ in sexual drives because of the demands of daily life. Women become focused on raising a family and balancing a career, and often times, sex can take a back seat to life's other obligations. Slattery suggests that problems in the relationship arise when women don't acknowledge this aspect of a relationship as a need as opposed to a desire. Slattery suggests that if you are a woman who feels like her husband's drive for sex is perverted or dirty, you need to examine why you view sex with such disdain, rather than as a natural and necessary part of a relationship between a man and a woman.
It is often thought that men don't need cuddling or other physical signs of affection. However, a recent study showed that men need affection just as much as women do. Researchers were surprised to find that men were more satisfied in relationships where partners were affectionate. The difference between men and women, the study found, was that women tended to feel more sexually satisfied when affection is a regular part of the relationship.
Any person who pursues a healthy relationship needs their personal space from time to time. Men are no different. Sometimes, they need a little time to themselves.
This concept, while seen as a difference between the sexes, can apply to women as well. For instance, do you want your husband to insist on accompanying you on your girl's night out? Establishing healthy personal boundaries is a key component of any healthy relationship. Men feel happy when they can make their woman happy.
It has to do with the give and take in the relationship. When the man and woman in the relationship at least try to make each other happy, it goes a long way to the love and caring they demonstrate to each other.
Men who feel this need are most often individuals that are mentally and emotionally looking towards establishing and maintaining a long term relationship , and engage in healthy behaviors to encourage the success of the relationship. Again, this goes for women too. However, women need to understand that men's expectations, based on their emotional needs, differ from women's expectations in relationships.
A man likes to know that you can trust him and lean on him, that you appreciate him, you hold him in high regard, you support and approve of what he does, and that you are on his side. Being respected, for a man, means that you have faith in what he's capable of, says relationship expert Laura Doyle. Respect is an integral part of a man's self-worth and involves you telling and showing him that you think he's smart and competent. Keep in mind that being considerate is not the same thing as being respectful in a man's eyes.
Although many men portray the epitome of strength, they are often secretly worried they aren't cutting it in all aspects of life. Affirmation and specific praise from a lover gives guys a sense of security and confidence in their relationship as well as outside of it.
Hearing a simple "thank you" on a regular basis for small acts can go a long way in making a man feel good about himself and your relationship.
Because of societal constraints, men don't often have many comfortable, safe places they can express emotions. You are your man's safe place and he needs to know that when he's ready to open up fully, you'll be understanding and open. He needs to know he can cut his emotions loose around you without fear of judgement or ridicule. In the book, His Needs, Her Needs , author Willard Harley suggests that when marriages fail , it is because couples don't feel like they did when they first met.
The path to achieving this, Harley states, is to meet each other's emotional needs. However, men's emotional needs are different from women's. As Harley states, often these needs are opposite, which lead to miscommunications and an under-appreciation of the spouse's efforts. He also warns that each of these needs cannot be applied to every single man, but should be taken as a general guideline.
At times, women can share the same needs as men, but they might differ on the priority list as to placement. There are five emotional needs of men that lead them to feel they are satisfied in a marriage:. While men and women's perception of their relationship needs can vary, it is important to keep in mind that these are general guidelines rather than hard, steadfast rules to apply. These might not apply to every man or couple, as Harley stated.
The idea is to take these guidelines and use them as tools for self-discovery , as well as learning what your man's needs are, and how they are the same or differ from yours. All Rights Reserved.
What Do Men Need in a Relationship?
Your emotional needs are inner cravings that when they are satisfied, make you feel happy and content. When they are unsatisfied, you are left to feel both empty and frustrated. Understanding the biggest needs of men and women can totally change the dynamic and potential of your relationships. Ignorance is one of the mayor causes of failures in relationships. Men try to meet the needs of a woman based on what they think is necessary and women do the same.
You may have married Honest Abe, but many men still keep some of their emotions top secret. A relationship expert explains why they stay so hush-hush. However, research has found a number of surprising parallels. From his fears of commitment to his fondness for cuddling , certain emotions cause many men to freeze up rather than open up.
5 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF A MAN
For some reason, men have a hard time opening up emotionally. So the question is — are men really emotionally detached or are they just wired to not share their deepest and darkest with us women? From a guys perspective, they need to have it all together no matter what, so they detach from their feelings so that they CAN keep it all together. So why would he want to share that with you? A guy being transparent about such things is hard to come by — possibly because of the standard that society holds him to; possibly because you are unintentionally disregarding his feelings or giving him the impression that he HAS to hold it together — otherwise the family would fall apart. But the truth is, men have MANY feelings, and they translate into these emotional needs that people rarely talk about. Men LIVE to make their woman proud.
Men are often reluctant to talk about their needs in intimate relationships. We need frequent reassurance about ourselves, our career paths, our efficacy as partners, our sexual prowess , and our attractiveness among other things. I have countless male clients telling me every month that their partners rarely let them know what they like about them. Why not just have more of a good thing?
Eventually, Kelly became his default therapist, soothing his anxieties as he fretted over work or family problems. For generations, men have been taught to reject traits like gentleness and sensitivity, leaving them without the tools to deal with internalized anger and frustration. Meanwhile, the female savior trope continues to be romanticized on the silver screen thanks Disney!
Your Partner Cannot Fulfill All Your Emotional Needs
In a marriage, both spouses have emotional needs that they desire to fulfill to feel balanced. And when it comes to the most important emotional needs of a spouse, men and women greatly differ from each other. By gaining an in-depth understanding of the emotional needs of a man, you can act as a better wife and thereby be better able to sustain the relationship. Instead, inside their hearts, they often worry whether they measure up and whether they are good at what they do for their women.
This article will focus on what men wished women knew about them by listing just a few ways women can better understand their partners. Men and women are different. Our brains are wired differently, our hormones are different and our emotional needs are different. Men tend to do for women what men need, and women do for men what women need. We tend to give what we want to receive.
9 Secrets Men Keep From Women
A few weeks ago I posted a blog about 5 Qualities every woman should look for in a man. Contrary to what society wants to portray we are not these physical animals that only need sex, sustenance and sleep to survive. We have needs that extend beyond the physical. Now, once again, every man is different and each man could make a different list as far as what they look for in a woman. Okay I admit it; we men have fragile egos pray for us! Behind the swag and the bravado a man displays on the outside, there often times lies a man who may not be confident in his appearance, educational level, intelligence, personality, sense of humor, sense of style, spiritual walk, career accomplishments, place in life, financial situation, sexual health or a variety of other things. Every man is looking for a woman who makes him feel safe enough for him to share his deepest insecurities with. Most men know that it is not macho to show weakness when you step out to face the world each day.
Everyone has emotional needs. When these needs are fulfilled you feel a special love and connection. Emotional needs represent the middle tier of the 3 sets of personal needs: love, emotional, and human. When your partner meets most of your needs, a strong bond and romance develop. These emotional needs focus more in terms of love and romance.
How to Fulfill the #1 Emotional Need of a Man and a Woman
We hear a lot of talk about the oppression of women, but do we really hear any talk about the oppression of men? Quite frankly, I never have. At least not in the way I'm about to explain. As a life coach and hairstylist for 25 years, I have had my share of up close and personal conversations with men.