I want to have more guy friends
One thing's for certain though: It's not because they're less drama. In fact, sometimes it feels like the opposite. How many times do you have to say there's nothing romantic going on between you? Just because you get along and have a great time together doesn't mean you're soul mates, gosh. Whenever they learn something new and gross about periods, they feel the need to confirm the information with you. They'll never understand your obsession with One Direction, or Kylie Jenner.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 9 Things That GIRLS with GUY FRIENDS Understand
- Making Guy Friends as a Man: Male Friendship 101
- The Science Explaining Why The Girl You Like Has A Lot Of Guy Friends
- How to Make Guy Friends Who Want Nothing but Platonic Hangouts
- 23 Things That Girls With Mostly Guy Friends Understand
- 15 Problems Only Women With Lots of Guy Friends Understand
- 10 Reasons Why Girls Need Guy Friends
- Why You Should Be Careful With The Guy Who Has No Male Friends
- Can Men Really Be "Just Friends" with Women?
- How to Make New Guy Friends (Who Will Introduce You to Their Guy Friends and Help You Score a Date)
- The Insecurity of Girls With Only Guy Friends
Making Guy Friends as a Man: Male Friendship 101
Especially as we get older, men often have fewer close male friendships. Worst of all, this lack of close relationships could be very, very bad for us. Prolonged loneliness can have serious consequences for cognition, emotion, behavior, and health —and may even speed up physiological aging. Ironically, as we start our journey to becoming men, some of us become preoccupied by worries about not fully reaching some manly ideal.
During this time, we may also start to see other men as competition—probably some primal vestige of our more Darwinistic caveman days, when the only thing that mattered was A Am I strong enough to fight you?
This is when we start to zero in on our interests and begin finding paths for our adult lives. The activities we choose at this time often become the centers of our social spheres. Keeping friends as you get older is the difficult part. Life gets in the way. Not to mention if you spend more time with your buddy than your wife or girlfriend thinks is appropriate then they think that you are neglecting them. So enjoy the quality not so much the quantity. Increasing time-demands from our jobs, from our spouses, and from our children make it more challenging.
I am good at making acquaintances with NEW guys that I meet. I can hang out, laugh, have inside jokes, etc. But many other men feel a loss of connection as they get older—and the sense that having more close male friendships would be valuable. Yet, it can feel like an uphill battle. Some of the common themes that emerge are:. Growing up, most men are pretty motivated to learn how to approach and talk to women. For this reason, many men find that in their adult years, they are still far more comfortable talking to women—even in a platonic situation.
I can theoretically go up to a girl at a bar or coffee shop and start talking to her. Maybe ask her out and start a relationship. For some reason, in our society, walking up to a guy and doing something similar with a friendship being the only desired outcome seems strange and bizarre.
Is this a real barrier in our society? Yes, there might be some awkwardness at first. Or, the conversation ends after a while, and you both go your separate ways—still no real consequences. Yet still it holds us back. We all get nervous, we all get stage fright. So too with making guy friends. Here are some tips that can help you increase your chances of making guy friends as an adult:. As I mentioned earlier, work and family play a larger role in our lives as we get older.
So why not embrace it? The irony of work connections is that you probably spend as much time if not more with them as your family. The only potential downside is if you feel your friendship might interfere with work. I had an experience where a close college friend ended up working with me—actually reporting to me—shortly after I moved to San Francisco. At first I was worried how working together would affect our friendship. Take a class. Join a club. This makes the events a non-threatening way to simply socialize.
Joining an organization can be a great way to meet new guys who could become potential friends. Best case, you expand your mind and change your opinion. Worst case, you reinforce your previous beliefs and civilly agree to disagree. You can certainly explore organizations specific to your profession. There are also other cross-industry organizations solely for the purpose of networking. The group aims to simply connect people without any specific agenda.
It really can be an opportunity to connect with people on a fundamental personal level. Those are the conversations that can establish a business relationship, but also potentially lead to friendships with other guys.
But you can also look at sites like Eventbrite. The truth is, most of the people attending are there to meet other people—or at least not afraid of making new connections. Hell no. You may not make ANY close friends. But, again, much like in dating, simply getting out there helps increase your chances of making an acquaintance that may eventually turn into a true friendship. A cafe, your regular bus or train route, a bar you frequent, even your gym?
The key is simply to make the initial connection, without trying to force a friendship at first. Often, breaking the ice once can lay the groundwork for a real relationship to develop over time. Face to face. It may not always be possible for connections that live on the other side of the country or world , but there may be opportunities to meet up with contacts that live within a reasonable distance.
When writer Bob Gordon was looking to reinvigorate his social life and meet guy friends, he started going to Reddit Meetups. He had an interest in raw denim, and ended up finding a meetup that he drove to, where he met a bunch of new, like-minded guys.
Not all of them became lasting friends, but having the in-person interaction definitely helped create a new bond with some of his connections. Even though the idea of getting set up may seem awkward, it can often take the pressure off meeting new people. His goal was more specific than just meeting new friends; he wanted to surround himself with rich and influential people he was familiar with that adage that you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most.
I want my booze now! He would repeat that trick each time he grabbed a drink. And that simple exchange would often turn into multiple connections throughout the night. If you have 12, friends on Facebook but no one to give you a hug when your girlfriend dumps you, then you need to reevaluate your social life. Record labels have the same challenge.
Can we predict how often those acquaintances will turn into friendships? Much of the anxiety that men feel around trying to pursue male friendships seems rooted in the notion that the stakes are higher than they actually are. That by simply having a conversation, they are making themselves vulnerable and opening themselves up to be judged.
I know how to comport myself with women because I practiced hard in high school and in college. Will he accept me or not? Because that is the potential runway to friendship. One of the best ways to make personal connections is through the guise of networking. And this is far easier—and less awkward—now that our understanding of networks is changing. With employees staying at jobs for shorter periods and as technology has enabled more mobility and competition in the workforce, the importance of having a professional network is even clearer.
Can I buy you some coffee sometime? You might feel uneasy asking to connect without having a specific plan. But usually the best thing to do is just focus on helping the other person somehow. And often this means simply introducing to someone else you know who might be useful to them.
As Adam Grant shows us in Give and Take , this kind of selflessness can actually drive our success in big ways. You can think of it as making a goodwill deposit that may yield a return later.
They may return the favor and help you professionally or personally —or maybe not. And that goodwill may blossom into a deeper connection later on. Otherwise, grabbing a drink or going to a show—really any kind of activity that you both might enjoy—can work. Ultimately, the best way to get comfortable seeking out new connections is to practice: to do it over and over. To build the habit of connecting with people…. Without any specific agenda. Say hello to people men and women. Engage them. Make conversation.
Take an interest in their lives. You may become friends or you may never see each other again. Will everyone want to talk to you? Plus, there are fundamental techniques you can use to make yourself more successful and connecting with people. Note: some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links, meaning if you buy the books through the link I get a small commission at no extra charge to you.
But I would recommend these books regardless. Kyle Ingham is the Founder and Editor of The Distilled Man, an online channel that helps everyday guys become well-rounded gentlemen. Kyle is a husband, new father, blogger, podcaster, and a recovering advertising executive. For the past 7 years, he's been helping men learn the essential skills and knowledge they need to become better, more confident men.
The Science Explaining Why The Girl You Like Has A Lot Of Guy Friends
There is probably no easier way to meet men than through your guy friends. The task is entertaining in itself, but your guy friend is going to be a tough screener because he wouldn't set you up with just anyone. And it works both ways. In no way can we deny the importance of a bond between female best friends, the sisterhood of women and all that, but we are also not blind to the inevitability of betch fights. Female friendships are a lot more complicated and draining, to say the least.
It's challenging enough to make new gal pals , but just how do you go about adding a few dudes to your roster of friends? While I do adore seriously, beyond adore my girlfriends, there's something a guy friend that's unlike anything else. Guy friends—at least mine—are wonderful about giving straight forward advice. Sure, sometimes their blunt approaches can sting, but in the end I think it's worth it.
How to Make Guy Friends Who Want Nothing but Platonic Hangouts
Especially as we get older, men often have fewer close male friendships. Worst of all, this lack of close relationships could be very, very bad for us. Prolonged loneliness can have serious consequences for cognition, emotion, behavior, and health —and may even speed up physiological aging. Ironically, as we start our journey to becoming men, some of us become preoccupied by worries about not fully reaching some manly ideal. During this time, we may also start to see other men as competition—probably some primal vestige of our more Darwinistic caveman days, when the only thing that mattered was A Am I strong enough to fight you? This is when we start to zero in on our interests and begin finding paths for our adult lives. The activities we choose at this time often become the centers of our social spheres. Keeping friends as you get older is the difficult part.
23 Things That Girls With Mostly Guy Friends Understand
We questioned 13 real men and women to get their candid opinion on whether girl and guy best friends can exist. It's the age-old question that comes up in every rom-com where the guy and girl best friends eventually fall in love: Can men really be just friends with women? What happens when something platonic crosses the line? We questioned 13 men and women of all ages and backgrounds to get their take on whether guys can really have a relationship with a girl that doesn't involve sex.
Wanna score all the best beach reads? We're helping you fill your fave beach tote with all the latest sizzling summer titles. If you were a dog, what breed would you be?
15 Problems Only Women With Lots of Guy Friends Understand
The truth of the matter is that guys and girls can definitely be friends without venturing into romantic territory. And while some of them may be, there are girls out there who just think a guy is cool as a friend. Not all guys are issues when it comes to trying to be platonic friends. The second you flirt, you open the door to anything but a platonic relationship.
One of the best ways to really get an idea of who a person is, is by looking at their friends. If he only hangs out with women, you need to be careful. Do you really want to date a guy like that? I said it. Just like most women need to have at least one female friend who they can go shopping with or drink wine with, guys have to have bros who they can do things with.
10 Reasons Why Girls Need Guy Friends
Updated: May 3, References. You want to be friends with that guy in your chemistry class, or the barista at your favorite coffee shop with whom you always talk about football. Getting a guy to be your friend can be a bit tricky, but if you become acquaintances first and build rapport, you can have a great friendship! You could talk about the weather, work, or a class you share together. Once you find something you have in common, you can talk more about that as well.
Please, for the love of god, never confess your feelings and if you do, please, do not do it on my wedding day or some shit, Sam. I seriously cannot handle that right now. This wouldn't be weird if they were female friends, but somehow, since they're guys, it feels like cheating even though you aren't attracted to a single one of these beautiful weirdos.
Why You Should Be Careful With The Guy Who Has No Male Friends
Updated: April 27, References. Yes, it is possible for a girl and guy to be platonic friends. Whether the pair is naturally not sexually attracted to each other or just have the ability to exercise reasonable self-control, the following tips will help you cultivate true friendships with members of the opposite sex.
Can Men Really Be "Just Friends" with Women?
I mean who wants bae constantly being swarmed by other guys all the time? Wolves that jump at the chance to get that one shot at your boo. Studies show that women with more guy friends have more sex than women with predominantly female friends.
How to Make New Guy Friends (Who Will Introduce You to Their Guy Friends and Help You Score a Date)
The Insecurity of Girls With Only Guy Friends